Saturday, February 21, 2015

CAPTURE THAT CAPSULE - Will Zens - "Spy Squad" (1961)

From the not so subtle to the less than sublime, Welcome Comrades to the Saturday Night Special, and a Dungeon journey a little deeper than usual!

Here's the one you've been waiting for, from 1961, "Spy Squad," or the original title, "Capture That Capsule!" Here's the basic premise: America is shooting off a rocket with a nosecone capsule full of secret info, and the Communists want it, and are tracking it, but the Americans know that, so they are sending up a fake capsule instead with a tracking device in it, so they can follow the Commies to their headquarters! It's a gigantic fustercluck of massive proportions!

"Capture That Capsule" is just about as WTF?! as it gets, and should be a cult favourite right up there with "Skydivers" and "Bucket Of Blood!" Driving the car is Dick O'Neill as comrade Al, and the passenger is Richard Jordahl as comrade Henry!

Speaking of "Bucket Of Blood, the reason this film caught my attention in the first place was that I read that Dungeon Hero Dick Miller was in it! I tried to find a copy of this movie for over 7 years because of that fact, and finally those wild cats over at Cult Action Films came up with a copy from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who taped it off the TV in 1986, but............I personally think something is wrong here!! If Dick Miller is in this movie then he sure doesn't look like Dick Miller, and the guy the IMDB lists as Ed Played by Richard (Dick) Miller is without a doubt not him! It's a mystery a film like this deserves!

In fact, I think the only guys you can believe were in this film most likely only had a couple of credits in their life, like Doug Hughes as Comrade Joe here popping his third beer!
1961 just happens to be the same year that one of my favourite instrumental songs of all time was released by the awesome central California band, The Revels...........
CHURCH KEY!  
"Capture That Capsule" actually turned out to be more captivating than I could ever have imagined! I don't usually give Directors much credit here, but in this film I'm giving a big thumbs up to Director/Writer/Producer Will Zens, and the genius of Latvian Cinematographer, Vilis Lapenieks! They'll have a scene like this where the American spy will toss the fake capsule to another guy, but it will cut to another shot of the Communist gang catching the thing! It's a pretty good effect!!  Will Zens also wrote the wacky music heard from start to finish, and here's a tasty little sample of his brilliant writing!!

Beer drinker Joe and one of his comrades are not getting along, so they have a fist fight, and when the other guy goes overboard, they say, "Oh, Well!" like he wasn't even a part of the mission!

This film is so weird! These two American spies posing as fisherman grab the capsule out of the water, and then the Commies pose as American agents to get the capsule away from them! It's really quite amusing!

Two more American agents posing as Fish and Game officials try the same thing again once the guys come on shore, and a major tussle ensues! Meanwhile, the capsule keeps tracking whoever has it in their possession!

These Communists are a tight bunch! They even ride sailor style three in the front, and this 1959 Buick convertible just keeps on smiling!

That leaves the backseat all to the capsule itself! I probably should just have shown you 20 stills of the capsule in different solo locations! It would have been easy enough to do!

Now this is quite a shot of Al!

Long before Sea World in southern California, there was Marineland! A nice backdrop for a small price!

Just in case you noticed this film was devoid of women up to this point, here's a shot of a gal that is about to get her sports car jacked! The trio realized they were being tailed (but they don't know how) so they started hoofing it down the beach!

The women's boyfriend was out in the ocean scuba diving, and he comes charging out of the water towards the guys, and so Joe shoots the guy. The women runs over to aid her man, and picks up his spear gun and skewers Joe good, so the other two just take the car and jam and leave Joe to die! (Whatever's good for the party!)

Comrades Al and Henry feel like they are still being followed so they ditch the capsule along the side of the road! This looks like the car that was tailing them, but once they look inside, they see it's just a woman! Once again, it's a clever ruse that gets turned upside down when the guys spot some fancy radio broadcasting equipment inside the car that a normal housewife wouldn't be carrying around! She gets away by rolling up the window on Al's arm and driving off!

Nowhere is it mentioned that this film is a comedy, but here's a series of events that says it is! The two American agents have been tailing these guys so close, they are unobserved hiding directly under Al and Henry listening to their conversation!

A devilish little boy finds the capsule and leads the guys on a silly chase!

These two have been wandering all over the place trying to get the capsule to the home of their beloved party leader. They go by a house where there is a different kind of party going on, and this drunk woman tries to get the capsule from them because she thinks it's full of booze, and they have to try and evade her!

The capsule is finally delivered to Carl Rogers as Hammie Hamilton, the leader of the bunch, and when he plays the tape that was hidden inside the capsule, instead of secret information, it's a bunch of gibberish, and they know that they have been had!

The jig is up boys, and now it's time for another trip, this time to an American big house!

The American agents can have a smoke and relax now that they've put those slimey Communists away forever! "Capture That Capsule" is one long damn chase scene, and it has enough WTF?! moments to keep it lively! I liked it enough that I just  might just have to go back and watch it again!

Friday, February 20, 2015

GALAXINA / Marimark Productions - 1980

Today is Cow-Flop Friday here at The Dungeon! Okay, the 31st Century and the crew (stuck in 1980) of an interstellar police ship is sent to recover a mysterious crystal, the Blue Star. It stars Dorothy Stratten in her 6th of 7 acting credits as Galaxina, the sexy female robot. Also stars Avery (THE MONITORS) Schreiber as Capt. Cornelius Butt, Stephen (NIGHTWING) Macht as Sgt. Thor and J.D. (MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN) Hinton as the cowboy, Buzz. Angelo (INVASION OF THE SAUCER-MEN) Rossitto has a small part as the Monster from the Egg!!

Here's a sound clip from this sci-fi flick for your approval, sooooo, you can push the big red 'GO' button over by our robot maid, NOW, Rufus The Gnat!.. Here's a little taste of... GALAXINA!

This is the beautiful Galaxina, she has the duty of piloting the police space cruiser.

As heard in the sound clip, this is Elexia, a hologram who likes Thor and Buzz to feel her up after she disrobes for them. Kinda hard to see the boys in the top still. Listen to the sophomoric conversation between them and you'll see how stuck in the eighties they all are!

The boys go to a party in space, there are beautiful scantily clad women, Star Wars style creatures and homely aggressive female monsters.

Then, the boys find a spot to watch all the fun, there's the portrait of a alien and a self playing piano that plays American honky-tonk, as heard in the sound clip! You know, if you're portraying a thousand years in the future, you might want to make the house and music a little more futuristic!

This Bat couple enjoy the company of each other as the obnoxious party continues.

Pot smoking and third boob touching are just a few of the fun things going on!

ALIEN was released just a year earlier, so, they might as well rip it off too, right?!

What else, Galaxina and Thor hook up and are now in love... Ahh, the good old future!

Galaxina goes into a bar to hang out and collect some clues on another planet.

Then, this robot bad guy dude shows up and challenges our heroine to a gun fight at... Get ready... HIGH NOON!!

Of course there are some space punks that capture Galaxina for ransom.

My favorite part is when they use a special camera filter to give the planet a new look during the day! Tune in tomorrow when we'll have another wild 'n' weird movie for you!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

THE VEIL (Tales Of The Unexplained) - "Food On The Table" (1958)

"The Veil" was a television show from 1958 that ran for 12 episodes, and was hosted by Mr. Boris Karloff! Boris also acted in a number of the episodes! Since the stories were all supposedly based on true tales, a more appropriate and mysterious re-release title was "Tales Of The Unexplained!"

Welcome to Wednesday Weirdness down in The Dungeon, and the third episode of the veil, which was entitled "Food On The Table!"

"The Veil" is not much more than a showcase for Boris Karloff, and what could possibly be wrong with that?

This is probably just stock footage, but it's still a pretty cool shot!

Great matte painting of the olde homestead!

Bars will be bars!!

Well, Captain, you've been out to sea for 3 months, don't you want to get home and diddle your wife?  
No, it's all right, she'll still be there when I get there!

This place has always felt more like home anyway!

Boris plays Captain John Elwood! You gotta love Boris, but John's a bastard!

Kay (THE GHOST BREAKERS, THE SQUARE JUNGLE, PANIC!) Stewart is Captain John's wife Ruth Elwood! Kay also had the super rare distinction of playing Maynard Krebs' Mother in one episode of "The Many Loves Of Dobie Gillis!" When John didn't come home, Ruth went to the club to look for him, and when John told her to go on home, and he'd be there when he gets there, she leaves through the banquet room and upends all the food and dishes that were spread out on the table for John's big welcome home party!

The Captain already didn't like his wife, so this little incident didn't help things at all! The very distinctive face of Captain Barney there on the right belongs to Tudor Owen of "The Black Castle," "101 Dalmatians," "Jack The Giant Killer" etc fame! Tudor also starred in the"Twilight Zone" episode called "Captain of Lusitania!"

The Captain's ship was inundated with poisonous snakes, and one came on land via his luggage, and when Ruth Elwood goes to unpack his case, she gets bitten by a snake!

Throwing away a good opportunity to rid himself of Ruth forever, Captain Elwood saves her life just in time!

Ruth Elwood is so thankful to her husband, she really wants to make it all up to him, and be the best wife in the world! My Grandma used to make Afghan quilts just like that one!

Captain Elwood finds out from Captain Barney that one of the ladies in town just recently became a widow, and that she was heir to twenty thousand dollars, enough to buy him a new vessel, so he suggests to Ruth that the next time he goes out to sea, she should go with him! It'll be a lot of fun! She protests because she is super prone to seasickness, but the Captain insists, so she goes along!

His real intention was to poison her after they got far far away, and beyond help!

Before she dies, the Captain confesses what he has done to her!

Captain Elwood is just cooling his heels for a year when Captain Barney suggests to him that maybe enough time has passed since his wife's death, and he should seek greener pastures like that widow lady!  Captain Elwood weakly resists, but then decides to agree with Captain Barney!

Time for another celebration, and the dishes and food go flying all over the place, and land in the same exact positions as they did when Ruth turned the whole place topsy-turvy the first time!

I didn't kill her I tell you!!!! (Nobody said you did, but since you brought it up!!!)
All 12 episodes of "The Veil" are available in a two disc set for next to nothing! A better bargain will be hard to find!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??